While my neighbors in the US are about to experience a political apocalypse where faith, freedoms and integrity will be at stake, here in Canada, we had a smaller scale ‘catastrophe’ this week, dubbed: Elbowgate. First, watch the video of the incident and see what you think.
Okay. Here’s what I saw: politicians acting like children. A group of NDP start the chain-reaction of bad behavior by blocking a member of the Conservative party from casting their vote on a proposition. I believe said proposition was to legalize doctor assisted suicide—so a pretty landmark ethical and moral issue. Justin Trudeau sees this cock-blocking, and rushes over. In the kerfuffle, a female politician is elbowed in the breast, or breasts; we’re not clear since there was no medical report on the injury. Next, despite what has obviously been a heat of the moment accident, everyone loses their shit. NDP Leader Tom Mulcair nearly has a physical altercation with our Prime Minister, while simultaneously misdirecting any responsibility of his party’s instigation of the incident. Frothing Tom, starts the tune: “What kind of man elbows a woman? You’re pathetic.”
From there, the situation continued to devolve, with the elbowed-parliamentarian and her party using terms like “molestation” and “anti-feminist” to describe what she felt she had suffered. Please fuck off with that nonsense. I’ve been sexually assaulted, molested in the actual sense, even accidentally kicked in the balls while playing sports, and it’s certainly a worse agony than what I would perceive an elbow to the boob to be. Shocking? You bet. Deserving of an apology, sure. But does it require a 48 hour news cycle, and never ending arguments in the House of Commons to resolve what was, in any logical person’s eyes, an accident? Absolutely not.
Did Justin behave badly, and like a hothead? Yes. I’m not letting him off the hook, and I’ve more to add on his behavior in a moment. However, the circus that has rolled into Ottawa after such a playground scuffle of an event is embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for the people involved who are trying to use an elbow-to-the-tit as a rallying point for victimization, when there are, in fact, actual victims of abuse who could use media and political attention. I’m embarrassed for the dimwits from the NDP camp pointing the accusing finger of misogyny, when Mulcair leapt like an angry caveman to the defense of a woman whose breast(s) was smacked, revealing, through his words and actions, that he believes that as a female she’s incapable of defending herself, and needs the screaming, chest-thumping intervention of a man—which is, by definition, gender-conformist, anti-feminist and misogynist. Lastly, I’m embarrassed by Justin’s toadying prostrations for forgiveness. Again, an apology was definitely in order. But three? Or is it four now? I’ve lost count, and respect for a man who continues to give this non-issue so much life. Perhaps more embarrassing than all of these gaffes, was that in the shuffle we (Canadians and politicians) completely lost sight of the outcome of the right to die bill, as well as diverted our attention from the surprisingly draconian legislation the Liberals recently conceived that makes their cabinet more insular and complete in its power. Apparently, those two issues just aren’t as important as elbows and tits making contact.
Elbowgate was an accident, a ridiculous one, and something that we should be chuckling at, not trying to pervert into a serious social debate. This has nothing to do with women’s rights or feminism. It has everything to do with the reality that politicians are no better than children, and when given the opportunity to cry and cause a tantrum, they will. Ironically, the most sensible faction in this mess was the one that often gets dismissed for its Hippie, Kumbaya airs: the Green Party. Elizabeth May, the sole representative of the Green Party who was voted into the House of Commons, was the only one who told the truth.
“It certainly was disturbing, it was unfortunate, it was rattling to many nerves,” May said on CBC’s Metro Morning on Thursday. “The key thing here is we dial down the acceleration of partisan hostility and actually do our work.”
Thanks Elizabeth, for reminding your peers that they should, you know, behave and focus on the health of our citizens and economy. Party loyalty be damned, but shouldn’t honesty be the first quality we look for in a politician? I think I just switched my vote for the next election. I’d rather know that my vote was spent, even wasted, on people of integrity—not on children setting fire to thousands of dollars of taxpayer money a day while arguing about tits and elbows.
All my love,
P.S. The use of “tits” here is done for satirical effect. I wholeheartedly understand and empathize with women and their degrees of personal comfort when it comes to the classification of their anatomy using slang. “Tits”, is, however, an absurd sounding word and I think it suits the ludicrous behavior shown by our House of Commons.