Things are going to be brief today–I have a new crisis unfolding. I haven’t missed a Sunday Blog yet, and determination, even when things are grim, is a raft to which we can cling to stop ourselves from slipping into the abyss. First, the good stuff. PR has kicked in and books are a movn’! I want to thank the many, many new readers and reviewers who have been picking up, devouring, and commenting on/ critiquing my work as of late. I really appreciate the passion and time it takes for you to tell me how or what you appreciated (or didn’t) about the series. Welcome to Geadhain!
Naturally, the universe has to balance itself out. Murphy’s Law has measured that positivity with an equal measure of shit. Persey, our other cat, has fallen mysteriously and suddenly ill, and no one seems to know what’s wrong with her. She’s had x-rays, bloodwork, you name it, and they can’t find anything out of the ordinary with her organs or body. She won’t eat and she’s been lethargic for days. We don’t know if anything we’re doing at the moment is good or right for her, and she’s clearly distressed. At our wits’ end, she’s now being cared for at the veterinary clinic, and we’re waiting to receive an update on her condition. We’re hoping that some nice, quiet time away there (they have her in a cozy little suite) where she can finish her course of antibiotics without her brother attacking her (Jupiter became quite aggressive soon as his testicles dropped) will give her the serenity to regain peace of mind and body.
And in the nether between wonderful tidings and shit, I’m getting another few hours done on my sleeve today. While this should be something for which I feel nothing but excitement, I’m struggling to rustle up any happiness. I wish I wasn’t so ruled by my emotions, but that’s just how I was programmed. I’ll be sitting in a chair for about six hours today, getting stabbed by a tiny needle, while torn in a million pieces within. Anxiety is a monster, and it’s difficult to put back into its cage without logic and resolutions. I don’t think I’ll have the latter today, over Persey’s condition. I’m not ready to lose another animal so soon after Zeus departed, so soon after we just pulled Jupiter away from Heaven’s Gate, either.
I guess that leaves me with logic: the world turns, I live, the ones I love are either safe in the beyond or still with me. I wish that raft wasn’t so rickety, or that it kept me more afloat. But life is ephemeral, and our idea that we can restrain its energy from leaving when the time comes is a charlatan’s lie or fool’s hope. I wish I had a better state of mind to share with all of you, or some kernels of wisdom we could, together, chew on. However, I don’t. I’m just nerves and doubt.
Hopefully, because of Murphy’s Law, the rest of you are having glorious weekends. I’d be happy if that were the case. Gotta run.
All my love,
P.S. Creative Collective has been pushed to next week so that I can dedicate a better mindset to our next featured artist. Also, this week’s featured image is of the elusive aboriginal hero: Kanatuk.